When You Are the Adult Child Three States Away

Practical advice for families managing aging parents from a distance, written from nine years of doing exactly this.

This is the kind of question we get on the phone almost every day. Below is the short, practical version of what we usually walk a family through.

Start with the constraints you actually have, not the constraints you think you should have. Almost every plan we have ever built improved when we let people be honest about money, energy, and how much they actually like driving at night.

Take it in stages. The biggest mistake we see is trying to solve everything in one weekend. Pick one decision, finish it, and let the next decision become clearer because of it.

Get a second pair of eyes on anything that involves a contract. We are happy to be that pair of eyes — but a trusted attorney, a long-time friend, or a CPA works just as well.

Finally: be patient with yourself. The fact that you are even reading this means you are taking the work seriously. That already puts you ahead of where most families start.

Have a follow-up question? Send us a note — we read every one.